Oh the holidays. They are so full of emotion, aren’t they? There’s joy, cheer, and merriment, but then there is also stress, fear, and anxiety. Sometimes it’s enough to add a few expletives to your daily speech. Today, I wanted to share with you some of the common F’words that you may struggle with around the holidays, and give you some tips or guidance so that you can have your most fabulous festivus yet!
So what are these F-words? A few of them are four-letter words, but I promise you none of them are swears. I’m talking about food, finances, and forgiveness. My goal is to give you some hot tips on how to navigate all three, so you can feel fabulous right into the new year!
F-word #1 for a Fabulous Festivus: Food
Let’s start with the biggie! Every single holiday event seems to revolve in some way or another around food. If you’ve been struggling with your relationship with food, or have been working really hard on reaching a goal that involves eating and health, then the holidays could definitely raise some big old fears. Here are some of the common ones I’ve heard from my clients:
“I’m afraid that I won’t be able to control myself and I’ll just eat all the things.”
“I want to be able to celebrate, but I don’t want to derail my progress.”
“I’ve been invited to a few parties and I don’t want to impose on the hosts to have to accommodate my diet.”
These are all valid points, and they’ve definitely crossed my mind before as well. I think we often approach food around the holidays as an all-or-nothing scenario, and we let our fears get the best of us. When in reality, there are logical, and reasonable approaches to addressing each of these fears. Let’s look at some:
Fear: “I won’t be able to control myself.”
If this is your biggest fear, I would spend some time reflecting on what your trigger foods are. If you can’t be left alone in front of the cheese platter but you have a dairy allergy, then step one is to recognize the trigger, and step two is to come up with a plan of action in case you get triggered. A few ideas to help you in the event you find yourself alone with a plate of cheese, or a box of cookies, or whatever your trigger food may be:
Fear: “I want to celebrate, but I don’t want to derail my progress.”
It’s entirely possible to remain on track but also give yourself some room to enjoy all the delicious holiday foods. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, when we make balance our goal, but if you find yourself with this particular fear, then a few things you can do are:
Fear: “There will be nothing that I can eat. Or I don’t want to offend my hosts by asking them to accommodate my diet.”
Oh the stories we tell ourselves. While I can empathize with this fear, it’s typically based out of a story we tell ourselves, and not necessarily fact. Here are my recommendations for getting out of our heads, and getting to the bottom of what our options are for eating healthfully around the holidays:
F-word #2 for a Fabulous Festivus: Finances
Money can be one of the biggest stressors in our regular, everyday lives, and as you know from my post on stress, it is no bueno for a healthy body. Throw the holidays into the mix and financial stress seems to get amplified by almost a million (a very scientific number I just made up). I personally have always been a fan of gifts. I love giving gifts, and I love receiving gifts. If you’re like me, you may put a lot of pressure on yourself to find that perfect something, for that perfect someone, and often any attempt at a gift-giving budget gets totally canned.
I know that for myself personally I really don’t need anything. As I strive to keep my life simple and stress-free, I’m also constantly removing clutter from my life. It breaks my heart when gifts from Christmases-past end up in the donate pile because I really haven’t used them. However, what I could never get rid of or donate are memories, which is why I’d recommend that if you want to reduce clutter and give a gift that really lasts a lifetime, then gift experiences to the ones you love. This can be anything as large or as small as your imagination allows. Here are a few suggestions:
You can also go the homemade route. Now a days with Pinterest in existence, there are so many creative, low-cost gifts you can make at home that would make amazing presents. To get you started, a quick 5 minute search yielded me these:
Or make a few batches of gluten-free, grain-free, and refined sugar-free cookies. Put them in pretty jars or boxes, add a little ribbon, and you have an amazing healthy yet sweet gift idea!
Lastly, I want to remind you that YOU ARE ENOUGH. While it’s wonderful to want to give gifts to show your love and appreciation, I want you to also remember that you, yourself are what matters, not the gifts you give. Your presence in your friends and family’s lives is a gift, so sometimes the best way to show gratitude is to just be present and available. This can cost you nothing but time, attention, and possibly putting your cellphone on silent.
F-word #3 for a Fabulous Festivus: Forgiveness
I recently was lucky enough to be gifted the opportunity to see Gabby Bernstein speak live in Vancouver. She was speaking on the topic of happiness, and she shared with us some of the key steps in fuelling your own happiness. One of the steps she touched on that really resonated with me was forgiveness. I specifically wanted to talk about it as the third and final F-word today because forgiveness can be one of the most powerful things we can give to others and ourselves for a fabulous festivus.
The holidays can often bring you together with friends or family members where there may be some negative tension. Past resentments can keep you in a space of negativity, and turn down the “joy-knob” on your holidays. Instead, I encourage you to choose forgiveness. I absolutely love this video interview with Gabby Bernstein on practicing forgiveness (the topic of forgiveness comes up at the 4:15 mark).
https://youtu.be/p7rro1refBU?t=4m16s
My favourite point she makes in the video is this: If you’re in an argument or tense space with someone, ask yourself “Would you rather be right or happy?” Often it’s your ego that is compelling you to stick to your guns and be right all the time, when the fastest way to happiness is to just let things go.
Lastly, I want to challenge you to practice forgiveness with yourself. As women, it’s easy to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do it all, hold it all together, and live life perfectly. Striving for perfection is only setting yourself up for failure, because in reality life is messy, unpredictable, and imperfect. So to take some of the pressure off of yourself, and to help relieve any added holiday stress, I want you to forgive yourself for not eating 100% according to your diet, for not wrapping your presents perfectly, for not making everything at Christmas dinner from scratch, for not being able to make it to your best friend’s dinner party, for not being able to buy your husband the watch that he really wanted, and so on and so forth. Instead of feeling guilt and shame for not being able to do it all, choose to practice forgiveness, and focus on being present and grateful for a happy and fabulous festivus.